Zombie, Divorce, and Nietzsche’s Answer: Amor Fati
- Aniket Awasthi
- Sep 14
- 4 min read
“हमारी कश्ती वहाँ डूबी जहाँ पानी कम था।” – निदा फ़ाज़ली
“Another head hangs lowly, child is slowly taken…”
Some wounds are silent, some wars invisible. Divorce is one such war for men. While the courts record it as the end of a legal bond, society treats it as a lifelong stigma. A divorced man is no longer simply a man—he becomes a category, a label, an object of suspicion. Unlike scars of battle, which earn honor, the scar of divorce earns whispers, rejection, and shame.
This essay deliberately compares the anguish of divorced men with the haunting imagery of the song Zombie. While the lyrics describe conflict and bloodshed, their echoes mirror the mental battlefield of a man marked by divorce.
The Stigma Beyond Separation
For men, divorce is not only about losing a partner. It is about losing their anchor, their role as husband and father, and their will to strive. Society, instead of offering them a chance to rebuild, ensures that they remain caged in suspicion.
“But you see, it’s not me, it’s not my family…”
The man often is not at fault, yet he shoulders the burden of blame. His truth is drowned beneath the noise of judgment.
Thus, he is denied not only the companionship of family but the possibility of renewal. Every door to remarriage becomes heavy with hesitation. Society does not see his potential for growth—it only sees the stain of divorce.
The Unequal Weight of Stigma
This hypocrisy is sharp. A woman may have had several relationships before marriage—casual or serious, short or long. Yet as long as they were not legal marriages, society does not brand her. She begins again without the permanent label of “failed.”
For a man, the standard is merciless. One divorce—just one—is enough to define his entire future. Regardless of his character, success, or honesty, the word “divorcee” becomes his identity. His past relationships are not private matters; his divorce is a public blot, a lifelong mark.
“Another head hangs lowly…”
The man’s shame is not self-made but socially imposed.
“It’s the same old theme since nineteen-sixteen…”
The hypocrisy is old and repetitive—society has judged men and women differently for generations.
And so, while one is allowed the grace of renewal, the other is condemned to exile.
The Endless Repetition of Judgment
“It’s the same old theme since nineteen-sixteen, in your head, in your head, they’re still fighting…”
The divorced man’s struggle is not a single event—it is a cycle. At every family meeting, at every proposal, in every social encounter, the judgment is repeated. His past is never allowed to rest.
“With their tanks and their bombs, and their bombs, and their guns…”
These weapons are not of war, but of society: gossip, hesitation, rejection. They leave no visible blood, but their wounds are deep and enduring.
A Trauma Worse Than War
A soldier with PTSD is haunted by memories of violence, yet he is honored for his sacrifice. A divorced man is haunted by rejection, yet dishonored for his circumstance. His silence is mistaken for resilience, but in reality, it is suffocation.
“Another mother’s breaking, heart is taking over…”
The pain extends beyond him. His parents carry the stigma, too, watching their son reduced to an outcast.
“In your head, they are crying…”
The echoes of judgment fill his mind, repeating endlessly like a chorus.
Zombie Existence
Divorce does not only end one marriage—it ends the possibility of another. Each rejection deepens the wound. The man is no longer seen as an individual but as “a divorced man.”
“What’s in your head, in your head? Zombie, zombie, zombie…”
The refrain captures his reality. He becomes like a zombie himself—alive, yet hollow. Existing, but not truly living.
And this loss is not only personal. A man robbed of his will to live cannot give his best to society. His productivity fades, his creativity weakens, his drive disappears. When one man is broken, society too suffers the loss of his potential.
Nietzsche’s Answer: Amor Fati
Here lies the turning point. What is the way forward? Nietzsche offers an answer in his philosophy of Amor Fati—the love of fate.
“My formula for greatness in a human being is Amor Fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
For the divorced man, this means refusing to curse fate, and instead, embracing it fully. To accept even the stigma, the rejection, the loneliness—not as punishments, but as necessary parts of his life’s path.
When society calls him a divorcee, he must answer not with shame but with strength: “Yes, this is my fate—and I will love it, because it is mine.” In that moment, stigma loses its grip. He ceases to be a victim and becomes a creator, shaping meaning out of ruin. His divorce does not end him; it transforms him.
Final Word
It must be clear: this essay is written for men, and about men. The sufferings of divorced women are real, profound, and different. They deserve their own voices, their own essays, their own recognition. This work does not diminish them but seeks to give words to the silenced agonies of men.
“What’s in your head, in your head? Zombie, zombie, zombie…”
The haunting refrain remains. The choice is simple: remain hollow, echoing with the voices of stigma, or embrace Nietzsche’s Amor Fati. Only in loving one’s fate—even its harshest parts—can a man cease to be a zombie and rise again as something stronger.
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